Jeff on Minnesota

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day...
hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national
news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the
coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because
it's "too spendy",
You might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March,
You might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance -- and
they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving
around the
middle of his forehead,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same
time,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and
churches,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to
say...Wayzata...Mahtomediâ?¦Cloquetâ?¦Edina... and
Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota.

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend
,
You might live in Minnesota.

You measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know several people who have hit deer more
than once,
You might live in Minnesota.

You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Minnesota.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social
events,
You might live in Minnesota.

You install security lights on your house and
garage and
leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota.

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish,
and venison,
You might live in Minnesota.

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your
girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot
at
Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,
You might live in Minnesota.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit
over a snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota.

Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,
still winter,
and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent,
You might live in Minnesota.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic
deer next
to your blue spruce,
You might live in Minnesota.

If "Down South" to you means Iowa,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know "a brat" is something you eat,
You might live in Minnesota.

You find -10 degrees "a little chi lly",
You might live in Minnesota.

You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all your Minnesota friends,
You DO live in Minnesota.