Abbott and Costello

Remember when the world was a simpler place and you went to movies just to laugh? Bud and Lou were one of the best.

 

COSTELLO BUYS A COMPUTER

This is TOO good! Yes, this IS what they
 would do if they were still here!
Read on:

You have to be old enough to remember
Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY
understand computers, to fully appreciate
this.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive
today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on
First?' might have turned out something
like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM
ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I
            help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office
           in my den and I'm thinking about buying a
           computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want
          to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with
            Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see
            when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need
           a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need           something I can use to write proposals,
            track expenses and run my business. What
           do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you
            recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for           my office?
ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows..

COSTELLO: I already have an office with
            windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at
            my computer and I want to type a proposal.
           What do I need?

 ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is
            office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for
            windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click
            the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w'
            if you don't start with some straight
            answers. What about financial bookkeeping?
           You have anything I can track my money
           with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your
            computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my
            computer?
           

ABBOTT: Money.
           

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
           

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
           

 COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my
            computer? How much?
           

ABBOTT: One copy.
           

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
           

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to
            copy Money.
           

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to
            copy money?
           

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
            (A few days later)
           

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I
           help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............